Added: Payal Halpern - Date: 25.12.2021 17:43 - Views: 35601 - Clicks: 1151
Some women consider themselves progressive, and claim that sexual liberty is a must for women.
Yes, it is. Losing the commitment or investment of a man we already decided was good in some way, or even just good looking, can be devastating. Yes, there are women out there who use men for sex, and I am starting to consider the possibility that mostly, these types of women are oriented towards the clitoral orgasm and prefer to get off rather than connect and commit themselves deeply. To have anything other than a clitoral orgasm, such as a cervical orgasm, you have to be a lot softer, more relaxed, a lot more trusting, and emotionally open.
That kind of orgasm in itself will demand some form of emotional connection with the man, which renders the woman terribly vulnerable to the man. ANY money. You feel used. This is the same reason many women have such pain and suffering after this very thing happens.
They are suffering, sometimes crying at the drop of a hat, because they opened up to a man, and he left. And here is Part 3. Good sex is just good sex.
Sure, for someone who feels like sex is lacking — good sex means everything. I understand that. To feel beyond the horniness in to our heart. And we will not just attract physical intercourse — but attract invisible sex, like the energy of attraction, playfulness, and polarity that you can experience when you are vulnerable and therefore become more polarised in to your unique feminine energy.
I imagine that good sex with just some man is nothing like good sex with the man who peels you open in trust for him, the man who belongs only to you. And you to only him. I suggest not always. Sometimes, men get hurt in casual sex situations such as his reputation gets hurt, but nothing like the deep heartbreak and emotional turmoil a woman can feel.
Men get emotionally hurt, but much less than women IF the Wives wants casual sex Success is purely casual. Casual sex hurts men differently to how it might hurt women. Men risk their families for it the wife finding out somehowthey risk getting STDs, they risk their reputation if their social group finds out, and especially if the social group finds out he slept with a woman whom they do not consider to be attractive. I would say that men and women get hurt just as much as each other when the sex is not just purely casual — i. However, in casual sex where the man is not emotionally invested in her, women almost always lose something of value.
And that value that is lost, is not necessarily the fact that they let the man have sex with them. We still need each other emotionally. But research has proven over and over, even in this day and age, that men desire fidelity highly in a wife the woman he commits to. And if a woman opens up to him sexually without her asking for much of his investment in her, then it will feel to him like she is easy.
So, no, I argue that women are not empowered by giving themselves sexually in a casual way. Just in case you thought women were the only ones who lose something from having many sexual partners…. with two caring, committed parents arguably has more resources on his or her side than with one parent.
Although, of course, with two parents in an unhealthy relationship could be worse off than they would be with just one involved parent. From the perspective of his long term mate value relationship valuethe more women a man sleeps with without an emotional investment, the more he loses value. This quiz will help you! So, the more we as a woman or a man open ourselves to be sexually intimate and to intertwine with another human casually, the more we potentially lower our value.
Consequently, the man loses social value and mate value: he becomes damaged goods. The more a man gets involved with lots of women, the more jaded he can become, and the less innocent, which makes him less fresh and valuable emotionally for a long term relationship. And I theorise that we think this way because when we keep letting in the wrong people over and over, we lose valuable emotional energy and innocence to be spent in the higher value mates.
Both men and women risk getting a bad reputation. Yes, men suffer from engaging in casual sex too, because they become known as a womanizer, and women are less likely to invest emotionally in them. But we often forget that. Men are also potentially risking costly divorce, risking getting STDs, risking a little bit of money, time and maybe a little bit of energy. But still, often, men will be congratulated and will be encouraged for doing casual sex. Men get congratulated because they got a good deal. Men get congratulated for having lots of sex with women, not just because people are sexist per se, but because they got a fantastic bargain.
Whereas, women let something valuable go, at not even a fraction of the price. I talk about why this is in PART 1. Can you see how it is disempowering to encourage women to do it with no strings attached, when she always has to open in some minimal way, in order to let the man into her? Sure, we should be sexually liberated — but when a man has gained our trust. We want women to freely have sex, but we invalidate their emotional pain or even trauma related to casual under the carpet?
What exactly do we want to achieve here? Free sex for all, but not free support for when it goes wrong? But we are also suppressing women by invalidating the feelings of women who really want to feel trust before sex. Because these women, then go on to feel like their desire for deep emotional connection are wrong; or uncool. We are empowered and liberated when we are connected to what is real, and what is true Wives wants casual sex Success our bodies. Does it have to get to the point where we put a penis on to ourselves just to prove we can be them?
No, our anger should be over the fact that a man wants sex with us without ever gaining our trust! No, we are the gatekeepers of our bodies. None of these things means he has any emotional attachment at all. Just because a man spends a tiny amount of money on breakfast relative to his incomedoes not mean he is interested in seeing his casual sex partner ever again. And it is this emotional attachment in a man that most women want.
Our bodies are ours. Think about it. A man in love will care, but a casual sex partner? His responsibility at this stage, especially where he has no emotional investment in the woman, is to do the best for the survival of his genes. And by the way, imagine for a moment that you are the seller of your home. Might there be something wrong with the house? By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only.
I understand that there are cases where a purely sexual relationship is slightly more long-term than a one night stand or casual sex over a couple of days. And, these are the cases where a woman is more likely to be getting something in return for her sexual offerings.
An authentic relationship is based on vulnerability. And over time, as each partner makes themselves more vulnerable, the relationship becomes more sacred, more beautiful and more trusting. But these short-term exchanges? The fuck buddies or friends with benefits? A woman can be involved in these AND receive substantial value back from the man short term emotional connection, sex, money, protection etc.
So we are reducing ourselves to a human taking what we want for pleasure and comfort; rather than risking ourselves going out into the dating market with a truly vulnerable yearning. You were a mean time man! Of course, everyone has a sex drive. What we do with that is up to us. Some people just want to orgasm. Some people want something deeper. We can choose to open beyond the need for an orgasm in to yearning and vulnerability for a high value man, or we can choose to shut off to yearning and vulnerability, reducing feelings of attraction. I know everyone wants to believe that women should have the same rights as men when it comes to sex.
Some women want to be able to have the same social acceptance for doing it a lot and often, with different partners. Does that seem fair?
But no culture allows a man to divorce a woman based on inadequate earnings! So, no, men also have to deal with situations that feel unfair. And as much as we want to deny it…the double standard re: sex exists not only because of society, but because of biology. Sex with a woman is still something that a woman needs to be the gatekeeper on, why? I receive plenty of s with women feeling this way. When it comes down to it — No denying what we want commitment and devotion from a manfrom fear that we might not have it, and no amount of cognitive dissonance will change what biology has done for millions of years.
When there is so called free sexuality, and women are sexually liberated in a way that makes sex easily availablethe value of sex goes down. It is not liberated to approach sexuality without realising that it performs emotional, evolutionary and reproductive functions deep in our body. Want part 3 of this series? Here is Part 3…. Please share your knowledge and stories below — where other women can learn and connect with you, too.
I look forward to hearing from you! Together with her husband D. The people who disagreed with your article are low key in denial. I really enjoyed reading this. Cervical orgasm? Ongoing sex is a plus but I have to be compatible with a guy to feel anything emotionally. I can hate a guy but still want to fuck him.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. You have no idea what men are. The entire article is guesswork.Wives wants casual sex Success
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