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If you or someone you love is at risk of suicide, please go to suicidepreventionlifeline. And, um, and I think that's always been the case for me, that I feel good um in front of people. Uh, and I think it is the perceived sense of control. Of course there is no control at all. Uh, but the idea that I might, with a microphone and a, and a light bulb on - in my face, um seemed very attractive to me. And still does. Maria Bamford is turning 50 this year.

She started doing standup back in her early 20s — in public. But she was working on bits much earlier, when she was growing up in Minnesota. MB: I was a shy. Um, my mom and my sister are kind of the bigger personalities in our family. My dad would give me a, a timed set at dinner time to talk. He would set a timer and I'd get three minutes.

MB: I don't - I think maybe 7 or 8. I remember the feeling of like, you got, you gotta say something really good right now. Like you got to say something like killer, like, "Okay, um there are these Okay, Ms. Labadee, fifth grade, she told me about these bodies in Amsterdam that were found beneath the bogs, fully formed human Sex free Bamford online with skin on and they're still there but they're from the s.

That's my time. Thank you very much. Anyways okay. Good night everybody. I think I was always sharing some horrible story. And I thought, 'Uh, oh, maybe I should worry about that.

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This is from her new special, called Weakness is the Brand. And it turns out there is a bit of mental health schtick. And a lot about money. AS: You have a line in your new special where you say, "I may be mental but I'm a millionaire. AS: Uh, and and what have you found that are your priorities when it comes to how you give your money and how you spend it? Like, um, I spend a lot on clothes and food.

Yeah, I definitely, I think we spend around to a month on, on food and dining, dining out, which I think is uh above av, average. AS: Are you a person who, like, spreheets month to month what's happening with your money? MB: Yeah, well, here's the deal. I, I, you can't say that you're in 12 step programs publicly because, um, apparently Sex free Bamford online, it's a cult [laughs].

But I've been in those groups for about 30 years and then one of them I've been in is money-oriented. Um, there are two that are called, um, there's one called Underearners Anonymous and one called Debtors Anonymous. And that, it, part of the sobriety in those programs are to, yeah, just be conscious of what, uh, you're spending, not, not in a judgmental way.

It's sort of like either, you know, just so that you have, uh, some choices. AS: At what point in your life did you realize that that going to a group, a support group around money management, was something you needed to do? MB: Uh well, it was part when I didn't have a place to live. I couldn't afford the rent I was in and I had hocked everything that I had at the time. So, yeah. I didn't want to ask anybody for money anymore. And I didn't have an answer.

And I was in another 12 step program and uh, they said, 'Hey, there's this other thing, uh, that you can get help emotionally about how to, how to figure out how to live. Maria was 24 at the time, living in LA and trying to make it as a comedian. But she struggled to cover rent and food. MB: Although I had a college degree, I just did not know how to um get and keep a full time job, much less a part time job. I worked mostly in restaurants. Which, when I moved to Los Angeles, became problematic because people are restaurant professionals there. You cannot be bad at it and uh keep the job.

And the great thing about 12 step groups that I love so much, they can't kick anybody out 12 step groups. Um, that is one of their rules. Uh, so you can go sit there with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a Big Mac and uh yell out expletives. Um, they'll probably tell you to go to the back of the room. But, uh yeah, I did, you don't have to believe in any of the stuff.

And the one thing I do believe in is though, is that groups cognitively - with science, you know, scientifically - help each other. Um, when we get together and there, and there's a Sex free Bamford online of shame, you know, uh, peop, I got support of how to have, keep a job, what I might be good at.

I ended up getting a temping and then be, getting a full time secretarial job. Um, and then yeah, how to show up and um pay bills and the one thing — which is so totally common sense, but it's the kind of thing that you need somebody to tell you when you're in a crisis —t hey said call everybody you know to try to find uh a couch to sleep on.

And I just, I mean, just didn't even come to mind. And so I did that and I found a place uh temporarily and she, um, she said I could pay her uh rent in payments over, cause I just Sex free Bamford online no money.

And, um, yeah. And obviously I just want to say I acknowledge that I am uh uh, was raised a upper middle class white lady, uh, with, yeah, every single benefit. Uh, yeah. So silver spoon in my mouth, and somehow still had difficulties figuring it out. AS: It's interesting to me that part of what you learned in group was just guidance on how to ask for help. MB: Yeah, no, that was the main thing. Y eah, it - bizarre. But that is, it, that's what I thought.

That is what I thought. She said that took her about ten years to pay off. She finally got health insurance through the Screen Actors Guild when she started picking up voiceover work.

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MB: I began getting voiceover work because I was working as a secretary at an animation studio. I had got my first voiceover job and, um, that. MB: No. I - I think it's most, things mostly happen through proximity of like, "Oh this person's over here. Just get near it, get near whatever you want to be. AS: What has that meant in terms of your mental health care to just to have reliable health insurance?

What's changed in terms of like the kinds of care that you get and what it's like? MB: It's unbelievable. I Sex free Bamford online, it's the only reason I think I would be alive today is that I had no qualms about, uh, you know, going to the hospital when I was felt uh at danger of hurting myself uh right away. You know like, I knew that there was, I had mental health coverage. Which through my union you have to earn to get, which is so, [laughs] that is so bizarre. You've got to earn over a certain amount to deserve the mental health coverage.

Um, so, but, yeah, I'm extremely grateful. Yeah, the whole thing. I believe I was hospitalized twice under my insurance and that was, um, around 30 to 30, grand uh a pop. Um, and uh Glendale Venice medical center. Shout out to the Adventists. MB: And then once I went to the wrong hospital, uh, went to Las Encinas hospital and they did not take my insurance.

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MB: For impractical reasons. And, uh, it just seemed, uh, very much on point for the whole situation. MB: Uh, yes. I certainly did. Oh my God. Just cause I was scared and I thought, I don't, I don't want to chance um me not being willing to go someplace else. Um so, yeah, it's kind of amazing to get there to the hospital and then, yeah. So it just felt like, uh, yeah, it was kinda - also, I was a bit out of it, you know?

Uh, not in my best mental health. So, uh, perhaps I would have made a better decision had I felt, felt better. Um, b ut in retrospect, I do have some good, some great memories of of um people who came to visit. And m y parents came to visit me when I was, uh, in the hospital, or my mom did.

My dad did not. My dad, uh, I think I have, I've never talked to him about it, but I have a feeling it was uh too upsetting. I'm not sure what was going on. My mom has, uh has been hospitalized Sex free Bamford online well for uh mania. So she was, she was a great visitor.

She was very mellow. She's like, "Well let's just go sit by the cigarette bucket and through this Oprah. Is the food any good? Oh God. MB: Yeah, it was, it was comfort. I mean, I was super mental, not, I was feeling terrible, so nothing, uh, nothing was good, uh anything good is only in retrospect. If you've ever had a - a breakdown or a psychosis or mental - it's, uh, it's not good.

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