Added: Chavez Retana - Date: 17.07.2021 10:40 - Views: 16910 - Clicks: 2960
in. Can you write an essay about how to make friends? I have the bestest lady friends a girl could ever ask for. So I let it sit, and drag out. I tried writing this blog over and over again, but nothing came out. That was until a story I heard at a family event broke my heart… and suddenly I knew what needed to be said. Now, you have to understand something here. So you can understand how surprised I was when her mother told me she was having trouble in school.
She was being bullied. I told her mother how it would get better. But it ate at me. I hated that these girls were doing this to each other. I hated that she thought she had to change herself to fit into their world. So without further ado. I wish I could fix it for you. I can at least try to help you see past it. So here goes. The person who is going to take on the world with you. I met my now best friend Lauren in the 7th grade. It was her first day at a new school, and something in my gut told me we had to be friends. When Lady Bird came out, we were told by countless people that we needed to watch it.
Lauren flew down to visit, and we headed to the movie theatre. We watched it in silence, cried in some parts, laughed Lookin for some lady friends embarrassment in others and I could honestly say, it felt like it was a story about our lives. We walked my place from the movie theatre and spoke about the film. One of the biggest realisations we had was that in high school we were in our own world. There could be so much happening around us, but our friendship always took higher priority.
We got each other through everything. Why did this friendship last so long?
Our friendship made us feel safe. One of the biggest things that hurts me so much about that girl going to school everyday is that she may not feel safe. That she may look at female friendships from here on out as something you have to prove yourself to be part of, have to change yourself to be included in — these girls are teaching her that to be loved by someone you need to be x, y, z.
My friendship with Lauren has always been about being myself. It was about having someone who had your back no matter what and was never competitive and jealous about your successes. I talk about her any chance I get. Her success is my success, we are proud of each other the same way we are proud of ourselves. I want everyone to know what this feels like. Let me say that again. But we are all weird in different ways. When I was growing up my first best friend, Yvette who I still have the awesome pleasure of being friends with even to this day was the most different person I had ever met in my ENTIRE life.
From the second I met her, I also knew we had to be friends. It was a gut feeling. She liked star trek. She liked science. She had perfect pitch. But we worked — because we both knew we were weird.
It was my first day of my second year. My first year was a complete bust. I went everyday to school. Sat there. Did my work. Went home. Rinse and Repeat. I was lonely, and sad. She immediately started introducing me to people. We were a bunch Lookin for some lady friends mismatched weirdos, all in our own way. We came from all over the world, we were all nerdy, and we were all kinds of drama in the best way ever. We are so different, but have always been willing to be open and vulnerable. But make no mistake people, we were and still are weird as hell.
I was walking into a party a year ago, and someone whispered at me while I was walking in. I smiled. Walked into the room, and quickly figured out who she was. I was at a growth hacking meetup. It was a bunch of dudes and me. I noticed another girl walk in, and sit at the other end of the table. We had never met, but she looked sad and I really wanted to know why. I walked around to the other side of the table and introduced myself. She told me her name was Sarah. I asked her a bit about herself. I shared a bit about myself and we began to talk about what it was like experiencing burnout as a woman in tech.
I never pushed her to share. I never asked her probing questions. I shared my story, and my feelings. I was vulnerable with her. When I was done telling the story, I looked up and realized she was crying. She started to share her story and we realized how we had been living such similar lives and somehow had never crossed paths.
We made a pact that we would stand by eachother from here on out. Most of us are very good with social cues. In fact, as Canadians, we learn to politely ignore them a lot of the time. If someone looks sad, talk about happy things and hope they are okay. So we know inside when someone is having a rough go of things, and in most cases we feel empathy towards that person. The answer? Get in the deep end.
Mama Lucy can have a conversation with anyone. We can walk into a mall, and she will walk out with 35 new friends and a couple of phone s. Her extrovertedness used to make my eyes roll, and when I was a kid I would feel embarrassed when she would talk to not just anyone but EVERYONE in a grocery story line… every single time we went grocery shopping. You know why? My mom gets in the deep end with every single person she meets.
Think about that — she is willing to be open and vulnerable with everyone she encounters in daily life. Because of this, people trust her. They want her in their life. They want a hug from her, or to tell her about their day. She knows the mail person by name and they give each other gifts for Christmas. She just gets in there. She has no shame. She can be treated badly by a friend but she will never give up. I urge you to get in the deep end with someone.
Be relentless. Be Mama Lucy. Around the same time I met Abi on that first day of university, I was walking across the campus when a girl walked up to me. She stopped me in my tracks. Literally put her hand out and told me to stop.
She was this 5'2, lb guyanese girl, with big brown eyes. I stopped. She looked serious.
I stared at her confused. Normally I would have pushed back, but my gut told me to go for it. I just had a feeling she was someone I wanted to know. She got in the deep end. She's like my mama that way. We are still friends to this day. Moral of the story?Lookin for some lady friends
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